My Defining Moment: Reconnecting with a long lost half-brother

As you may have read in my bio, I am a 28 year old social worker who decided to finally start a blog. This was not particularly planned & isn’t exactly structured but as I was meditating in my room, my heart told me to take the plunge & just start writing. The old me would’ve been afraid, passive, & think I wouldn’t have anything worthy enough to say. But I’ve learned in life, & as a therapist, that we all have a purpose & can offer a lot more than we think. So here goes…

Everyone has a defining moment, or even multiple ones. To start I’d like to share with you one of mine. Before I disclose, I will paint a picture of life before this happened. I used to be insecure, lost, always chasing & searching for love in all the wrong places. I was naive, desperate, selfish & out of control. On the exterior I had my life together, I always had a full-time job while pursuing my education with good grades. However, on the inside it couldn’t be further from the truth. It was like I had two sides of me; with an angel on one shoulder & the devil on the other. I will spare the details but in a nutshell, I was self-destructive & suffering for many years. I was my own worst enemy.

It took almost losing it all, to realize I needed to make a change. I mean how many second chances could I get? I needed to drop my vices, ego, people who were holding me back & take a long hard look in the mirror. As soon as I set this intention & decided for myself to go on this journey, then the universe I feel sent someone to help me further. I had met my long lost half-brother that was put up for adoption as a baby when my father was 19 years old. At the time my father wasn’t able to take care of him, & wanted him to have a better life.

It was a miracle that he found us, thanks to a website called 23andme. I had known of his existence but never in my life had I expected to actually meet him. Not only did I meet him, but he became my best friend. At a time when I had lost everything & everyone, he arrived & it was like looking into the mirror of my soul (we also look alike physically). I say he’s the guy version of me.

I was no longer an older sister but now a middle child. A new identity. There was an immediate connection I cannot explain. It was as if I had known him my whole life. He helped me recognize my potential & truth. I also overnight became an aunt to 4 nephews & gained a wonderful sister in law that I consider a VERY close friend.

This amazing experience unfortunately, has a sad twist. My half-brother was facing 6 & a half years in federal prison for a crime that wasn’t his fault. We went to his trial & he was able to reduce his sentence to 4 years because a judge that once despised him saw a huge change in him, but it’s still a loss. Just when we finally reconnected over the last 6 months making up for lost time, he was being taken away from me. From all of us.

He surrendered himself this month to prison & so far he’s been okay. He accepted his fate wholeheartedly despite feeling wronged. Seeing him go through this inspires me to want to be a better person. Despite everything he’s already been through including being put up for adoption, which comes with automatic feelings of abandonment, along with trauma he experienced later in life, & now facing prison after his fiancé just gave birth to a newborn, he has every right to want to give up or to blame the ones who have hurt him. & no one could argue that. Yet he’s humble, kind, funny, and loving with open arms. He is motivated to be there for his kids & the role model they desperately need.

I believe we were meant to find each other. I believe he helped save me from myself & now I want to return the favor & be there for him & his family during this difficult time. When he gets out, we all plan to move to Florida & start our lives over. Put our past behind us & move forward. I am grateful for this experience & it helps me to believe that miracles can happen everyday. It gives me hope for the future that the best days of our lives are yet to come & you can overcome anything as long as you got love by your side.

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2 thoughts on “My Defining Moment: Reconnecting with a long lost half-brother

  1. Life is full of surprises, we have to embrace and accept changes.

    Liked by 1 person

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